


The us of before

by SmolSaltyBean



Category: VIXX
Genre: Angst, Dreams, Inspired in the MV, M/M, The magic bus in the MV, Yeah its past midnight I cant think of good tags, has a bit of fluff I guess, its enjoyable, just for a moment, kenbin - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-27
Updated: 2020-06-27
Packaged: 2021-03-04 06:48:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,394
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24939307
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SmolSaltyBean/pseuds/SmolSaltyBean
Relationships: Lee Hongbin/Lee Jaehwan | Ken
Collections: Insa Fic Collab





	The us of before

The sound of breaking glasses echoed through the otherwise silent house. Jaehwan reminded quiet as he looked at Hongbin in shocked, the younger one was obviously distressed, obviously upset. Jaehwan knew that at the moment, it didn’t matter what he said it wasn’t going to fix anything, it had always been like that. 

Hongbin looked up at Jaehwan, somehow expectantly. The eyes of the younger one shone with sadness but there was something else hidden in those eyes, it was almost as if they were begging Jaehwan to say something, but the older one just lowered his gaze.

Hongbin chuckled before nodding. “Right.” 

Jaehwan still stayed motionless and quiet as Hongbin moved to start picking up the broken glasses. It was very out of character for Jaehwan to stay fully quiet or to stay still for such a long time, but at the same time it was very uncommon for Hongbin to throw cups at the floor while discussing with Jaehwan.

“Jaehwan hyung.” Hongbin said. “Get out.”

The words hit Jaehwan like a truck, he wanted to fight back, or ignore him and help Hongbin to pick up the glasses but instead he just silently stared at Hongbin. The younger one had kneeled on the floor to pick up the broken glasses, hissing as he accidentally cut himself with some of the sharp pieces. Jaehwan lowered his gaze and walked out of the house without uttering a single word. He didn’t had anywhere specifically to go to, but he needed time alone and he knew Hongbin would appreciate some time alone as well.

When did his relationship turned into this? When did Hongbin and he started to fight and argue each time they see each other’s faces? Why did this happened? Jaehwan really couldn’t tell.

Jaehwan loved Hongbin, he really did, but he really had no idea how to fix this mess. Or even why did it became a mess.

Jaehwan sat down on the bench a few steps away from the house, it was a bus stop and the bus was to be there soon, Jaehwan needed time alone and so did Hongbin. This started to become an habit for both of them.

Whenever a fight would break and end badly, Hongbin would lock himself in the room while Jaehwan went to the backyard, or Hongbin would get out of the house and come back hours later while Jaehwan yes watched movies or something at the living room.

Then, at night, Hongbin and Jaehwan would try to fix things, talk about it, and go to sleep, even though they both know it will all repeat again the next morning, as if they were trapped in some kind of loop.

The door of the bus opened and Jaehwan stepped in, greeting the driver; who already had seen Jaehwan there at least 2 times in this week; paid the fee and took a seat at the very end of the mostly empty bus. Jaehwan reminded looking through the window, just quietly thinking.

Should they break up? Should they give each other some time?. Lots of times before that kind of thoughts clouded Jaehwan’s mind, but at the same time he wanted to ignore those thoughts. He could never voice out those words while looking at Hongbin.

Even if their relationship was almost non-existence now, in Jaehwan’s eyes, Hongbin was still as beautiful as the first time they met, Hongbin was still as angelical and perfect as their first meet.

He pressed his head against the bus window letting the noise of the motor and the feeling of the movement to sooth his mind and his heart. Slowly, his tired eyes started to give in and he slowly fell asleep. 

When he finally started to wake up, it was because he felt the bus stopped moving. Opening his eyes and looking through the windows again he couldn’t recognize the place, it looked like some kind of field, but Jaehwan couldn’t remember any field in this bus’ route. 

Jaehwan stretched and looked around the inside of the bus, it was empty now besides the driver. The door of the bus was open, it was as if it was telling Jaehwan to get out. He was feeling a bit odd, something seemed off, but still he pushed himself up and moved towards the entrance before walking out of the bus slowly. 

The bus immediately left after Jaehwan got out. He was startled and confused, he felt the place was familiar but at the same time he felt as if something was wrong. He couldn’t pinpoint from where he knew that place.

He then started to notice the trees and the cold temperatures, it was spring, the trees shouldn’t be naked, showing their thin branches, the temperatures shouldn’t be this cold, almost freezing. 

“Jaehwan hyung” He heard. 

At hearing Hongbin’s voice, Jaehwan turned around quickly, almost giving himself a whiplash. Jaehwan’s big eyes opened even more if it was possible and simply stood there not knowing what to say.

Hongbin was there, and now, Jaehwan could remember where he had seen this place before. December 10, Hongbin and he had come to that same field. It was just their second date, both of them were still getting to know each other.

Jaehwan remembered because that day Hongbin looked astounding. He was wearing a pair of black jeans that hugged his small waist perfectly, a simple white shirt and a long beige coat on top of everything. 

The evening light shone against his face making his heavenly features stand out even more than usual. The orange like light made his big puppy-like eyes shine. 

That day, Jaehwan can remember perfectly how Hongbin looked because that day Hongbin was just unforgettable. 

“I’ve been waiting for you.” Hongbin said laughing softly as he walked closer to Jaehwan. Jaehwan was awestruck when Hongbin walked closer still with an idyllic smile, his deep dimples catching Jaehwan’s eyes. 

Jaehwan didn’t say anything, still too confused to understand the situation. Was he dreaming? Most probably.

Hongbin slowly frowned. “It’s everything okay?” He asked. Jaehwan simply nodded. 

“I was...you look pretty.” Jaehwan simply said, still awestruck.

Hongbin made a face of disgust but then broke into laughing. “Don’t say that kind of things to me!” He said with a smile that let Jaehwan know he was kidding.

Who long it’s been since Jaehwan saw that smile? How long it’s been since Jaehwan heard that heartful laugh? Since he pulled Hongbin closer to kiss those deep dimples as the other laughed or cringed. 

“Should we start going? It’s going to get colder and we would have spent the whole evening just standing here.” Hongbin joked and Jaehwan once again nodded before walking closer to Hongbin, surrounding the other with his arm and starting to head into the path through the field. 

The field was a beautiful place, it was nostalgic, it was calming, but most important it brought Jaehwan beautiful memories. 

“I love this place.” Hongbin said with a small smile as he walked closed to Jaehwan. The weather was cold and as the other had predicted, it was slowly turning even colder, Jaehwan wasn’t dressed for this weather, he had dressed for spring, but for some reason, Hongbin’s body warmth was everything he needed at the moment. 

“It’s beautiful.” Jaehwan said. “It’s also a good place to take pictures!” He announced and Hongbin simply hit him softly. “Why you hit me?! Isn’t it?!” Jaehwan screamed almost offended, but Hongbin simply laughed and shook his head. 

Jaehwan smiled as he stared at Hongbin. Whenever Hongbin laughed his eyes would close, his perfect shark-like teeth would show and his nose would wrinkle a bit. Jaehwan liked that view.

He had always liked Hongbin’s smile and his laugh, he find it endearing. After Hongbin had calmed down from the laughing he looked up at Jaehwan who was still looking at him. “What now?” 

Jaehwan shook his head as Hongbin pushed away. “You are looking at me as if it’s been years since we saw each other, what’s wrong?” Jaehwan shook his head again. 

“It’s nothing.” He said as he continued walking, this time leaving Hongbin behind. If he could remember properly there was a small lake somewhere around here. 

“Jaehwan.” Hongbin said again as he catched up with the older. “Do you have something to say?” Jaehwan shook his head once more. In reality, he had a lot to say to Hongbin, a lot to apologize about, a lot to talk about, but this memory was too precious for him to ruin it with some kind of talking.

“There!” He said finally pointing towards the lake. He automatically held onto Hongbin’s wrists before starting to walk towards the lake. It’s been a while since Hongbin and he went out together, it’s been a long time since they held hands or since Jaehwan held Hongbin’s wrists to walk somewhere and not to keep him from hitting Jaehwan or from leaving the room before their argument ended. 

They reached the lake and Jaehwan sat down on the floor, Hongbin following in every action. “It’s perfect.” He whispered.

Everything of this memory was perfect, everything was calm, serene, they were happy. 

Yes, back when this all happen they were happy with each other, what happened to ruin this happiness? Did they both got tired of each other? 

“Jaehwan hyung.” Hongbin said again making the older one turning to look at him. Hongbin was looking at him with a serious look but it was still soft.

“What’s wrong?” 

“Nothing.” Jaehwan quickly say. “Everything is perfect.” 

“I know you.” Hongbin said. With each second passing his big eyes turned sadder and sadder, and Jaehwan panicked. He didn’t want to see Hongbin sad, not anymore. He couldn’t bare to see those sad eyes anymore. 

“It’s because of this morning?” Hongbin said tilting his head. Jaehwan was a bit taken back. Well, if this was a dream of course his intrusive thoughts were going to find a way into it. 

“Let’s not do this. I don’t want to-” Hongbin interrupted Jaehwan.

“You don’t talk to me about anything anymore.” Hongbin claimed. “Since we moved in together we don’t simply talk.” Hongbin said with a frown.

Jaehwan remained quiet this time. 

They didn’t talk anymore. Even if they were living under the same roof. 

It wasn’t the way it was before, Hongbin didn’t call him anymore at 2AM just because he couldn’t sleep, Jaehwan didn’t excitedly ramble to Hongbin about the new game he wanted to play together, because they were together all the time under the same roof, Hongbin didn’t tell Jaehwan what he had done throughout the day. They didn’t spend hours talking about what they had dreamt about the last night anymore.

It was just house tasks now, clean the dishwasher, take out the trash, do this, do that. 

And if it wasn’t that, it was fighting. 

Was that what was bringing their relationship down?.

“See? You aren’t denying it.” 

“Do you regret dating me?” Jaehwan asked as he looked straight. His eyes were focused on the sunset in front of him. Hongbin remained quiet for a moment.

“I wouldn’t say regret.” Hongbin said after a while of remaining silent. “Still, do you think it’s a relation worth keeping?” 

“Yes.” Jaehwan’s answer was quick before looking over at Hongbin. 

“Why even?” Hongbin said as he raised his eyebrow.

“Because…” Jaehwan wasn’t completely sure the reason of why he kept trying to fight for Hongbin’s heart, why didn’t he just gave up. “Because, I remember days like this.”

“We should keep them as memories, then.” Hongbin said as he looked down. Jaehwan put his hand under Hongbin’s chin, slowly making the other raise his chin to look up at him. Jaehwan leaned in closer to Hongbin, leaving a soft and delicate kiss on the other’s lips.

Jaehwan missed it. He missed the way the soft lips of the other felt against his own, he missed the way Hongbin tasted so sweetly, so addictive. He really missed it. They pulled away but Jaehwan keep his forehead against Hongbin’s forehead while holding the other’s neck. 

“I want to continue making new memories with you.” Jaehwan confessed.

He heard Hongbin laughing softly. "We should talk then…" he said. "About everything."

"Let's talk today." Jaehwan said, decided to start again renewing their relationship. "Now." He added.

Hongbin pulled away with a clear smile on his face. "Let's talk at home." He said. Hongbin leaned closer to Jaehwan, kissing him one last time.

Jaehwan closed his eyes to receive the kiss before feeling them pull away, his eyes open slowly to see the roof of the bus...did he fell asleep?

Jaehwan stretched and looked out of the bus window. It looked like it had reached it last stop now and the driver was starting to turn back to wake up Jaehwan.

"Are you going to get down here?" The man asked.

Sometimes Jaehwan stayed at the bus stop to eat or just to spend some time. Jaehwan shook his head. "no, I'm going back home." He added.

The driver nodded and Jaehwan paid him for the drive back. After 15 minutes the bus took off again.

The bus arrived to Jaehwan's station and Jaehwan flew out of the bus, running towards the door before pushing it open.

"Hongbin!" He yelled as he ran inside. No answer, so he continued to run until he reach the bedroom. "Hong-" 

Hongbin looked up from the suitcase he was packing. He looked down again, his eyes were lingering on the suitcase for a bit before looking up at Jaehwan again. "I thought you were going to take longer…"

Was Hongbin planning on just leaving…?

"What's going on?"

"I think we need to take some time." Hongbin whispered. "I'm going to move back with my parents for a while."

"You don't have to." Jaehwan said right away as he walked inside the room and closer to Hongbin.

"I took my decision." Hongbin said as he closed the suitcase, and zipped it. "I already called my parents." He added.

Jaehwan opened his mouth to say something else but Hongbin just took his suitcase and walked out of the room dragging the suitcase.

He wanted to yell at Hongbin for him to stay. Tell him something, go after him.

But he didn't move.

He just stared.


End file.
